wow...

http://stop-hating-everything-i-like.tumblr.com/post/33921694822/pilgrimkitty-ai-yo-thunderwishes

I thought at first that when I saw this blog post, the girl who was posting it identified with the ad, but then I saw the comments underneath:

Shouldn’t it be “Mama didn’t raise a Rapist or Murderer”? Isn’t that how society should go? 

Oh yeah because you tell me a chick pulling a gun on a guy in a situation ISN’T somehow going to turn into how she went over the fucking edge and what the fuck is wrong with chick’s now adays?

Lets also not forget about how there is a Black women in jail for firing a warning shot at her abusive spouse not hitting him but the wall and she was the one arrested for firing a gun not him for the abuse. so yeeaaaah

This pisses me off so 

much.

Angiers

I think that Angiers brings up an essential point when she says that we largely overlook aggression and violence between girls. Little girls are not expected to fight, even though little boys are. Women grow up being told they can't be aggressive, can't be violent, but they are. Maybe this is why female violence manifests itself so differently than male aggression. Women are generally passive aggressive, using psychological violence. I thought that the comment in class, that women use exclusion as a tactic of violence, was particularly astute. Men are usually much more direct. Women feel that they can't actually act out the violent feelings that they have, can't show anger, have to express it through tears and cattiness, because being violent makes them less feminine. For men it is the opposite; men have to be violent. It is really problematic to have these dichotomous expectations of how we should express our emotions.

Changing femininity

I enjoyed the discussion we had in class on Tuesday.  Perhaps (probably) discussing femininity is more engaging to me since I can relate to it as a woman. I was most intrigued by the question of whether or not femininity is changing with time. I think that what we are really seeing is not that girls feel pressured to be "feminine" more early, but that girls are sexualized more early. Femininity does not equal motherhood or fertility anymore, but sexual attraction. For girls to really be women, to really be feminine, the pressure is not to have children, be good cooks, sew nicely, etc. The pressure is to look attractive to men. Obviously there are still behavioral expectations of being a little lady, being demure, etc. But women can escape those feminine behavioral expectations as long as they are sexy. In our society, women can be single, powerful, dominating, as long as they are sexual. A woman who is single, powerful, dominating, and not sexy is just a bitch. Beauty is the ultimate validation, because as long as you are beautiful, no one will question if you are a woman. In line with this thought is the fact that a beautiful lesbian is shocking. People would ask, why are you a lesbian? But an unattractive lesbian is not so shocking; rather, it is what people expect. Ugly women have to prove their femininity, beautiful women get a free pass.

You win some, you lose some

I was particularly struck by a comment made last class. I believe it was Celia who pointed out that masculinity has to be gained. Men have to prove their masculinity by acting like a man. But in contrast, women are expected to be womanly, and it is assumed that they are feminine until they act against those notions. Therefore femininity is something that women have to hold on to, but they can lose it if they act too manly. This explains a lot about traditional gender roles. Men have to constantly prove their manhood and live in the extremes of rage, power, etc. Women, on the other hand, have to be careful not to do anything too drastic, to be more careful and quiet lest they assume a man's role. It seems that in order to effectively re-define gender roles, we also have to redefine the ways in which we execute femininity and masculinity.

Sexy Halloween, for the ladies

Halloween costumes are a very obvious way to see roles of masculinity and femininity. Men and boys are expected to be manly, strong figures, like firemen, super heros, and the like. Girls are expected to be cute princesses and women are expected to unleash their sexy side. Just another way to play up stereotypes. I thought that this photoset does a good job of displaying just how ridiculous the "sexy halloween" costumes are becoming in the US. My personal favorite is the sexy first edition old man and the sea. Hemingway would be proud.

http://itsallanallusion.tumblr.com/post/33393589872

Masculine violence.

It was really interesting to see the comparison of dolls from the 1960's to the 1990's. The fact that men have become much bigger and women much smaller is an interesting reflection of what society sees as the ideal. It takes even more now to be masculine. Men have to be bigger, more violent, in order to be acceptable masculine. Men feel that they have to be overly "manly" with other guys just to prove themselves. This is really injurious to men and to society at large. It creates direct violence, like domestic abuse towards women, and also indirect violence, like suicide by homosexuals.

Another part of the video that shocked me was the scenes of women being abused in videos, the fact that that is accepted. But if a woman is violent towards another woman or, even worse, towards a man, it becomes shocking and even horrifying. Men are supposed to be violent but women are suddenly threatening if they do the same things. The bad thing is, when women are fighting for equality, they often feel that they have to rise to this masculine standard of violence. Women are allowed to be violent now, like Charlie's Angels and Catwoman, but only as long as they are sexy at the same time. So now woman have to be sexual, beautiful, powerful, and violent in order to be strong and considered equal to men. We have to destroy the need for violence in both genders.

psychoanalytical feminism

It is very difficult for me to accept psychoanalytical feminism as a legitimate explanation for gender differences. I do believe that people develop in different ways in different stages, but I don't think that this all revolves around the relationship with the mother. The concepts of oedipus complex and penis envy have, I think, been pretty throughly debunked and are not really accepted in the mainstream. Freud was on the right track by focusing on human development, but his focus on sex was over the top. I am glad that we discussed Freud's early work, focused on repression of women's sexual abuse. It is very interesting that he had to change his views because of his male colleagues who did not accept his research. I wish that Freud had continued to push his ideas, because he could have pushed a different conception of femininity.